Search Results for: blog parenting myths for parents of defiant children

Unconventional Kids and Unconventional Parents

I love the word “unconventional” and it tends to pop up in parenting articles and books now and again. There are so many great synonyms for unconventional—eccentric, irregular, unusual, avant-garde, original—how could one NOT want to embrace an unconventional child or be labeled an unconventional parent?! Of course, I realize that not everyone is comfortable with the idea of unconventionality. We worry whether or not our unconventional children can also be deemed normal, and want to make sure that we’re not overlooking any potential problems. But, the uniqueness of each child and the variations of perspective and attitude that each … Continue reading →

Parenting Myths for Parents of Defiant Children

“Sometimes the way we analyze a problem keeps us entrenched in it.” These few powerful words are the beginning of chapter seven of the book, Try and Make Me!. It’s a great chapter (and a great book) that deals with parenting myths as they relate to the defiant child. The authors point out that if we accept these myths as reality, we then will stall any attempts to help teach our defiant child appropriate behavior. Parents have to be aware of the myths and the realities and then set aside these myths, only then can we make any progress with … Continue reading →

Become The Alpha Mom

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Do you have a hard time saying no to your kids? When I first got divorced no was not part of my vocabulary. I felt so guilty for depriving Hailey of an intact home that I just couldn’t bring myself to deprive her of anything she wanted. Needless to say, this quickly got out of hand. Our kids know who is in control and if you are always giving into them they know they have the upper hand and quickly become manipulative. So many times I’ve heard children stomping off to their rooms after mom told them no, saying things … Continue reading →

Reward and Punishment

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One tough concept in teaching is reward and punishment. Teachers use reward and punishment every day to encourage good behavior and good grades. Rewards often include prizes, candy, extra play time, and positive comments. Punishments may include calling parents, reprimand by words, losing playtime, time out, or going to the principal’s office. Determining when to use reward and when to use punishment can be a little tricky. In some cases students need to be rewarded for good deeds and in other cases they need to be punished for wrong doing. I feel that in most cases punishment seems to be … Continue reading →

Can We Really Control a Child’s Behavior?

In many cases people like to think that they have control over others. This happens a lot at prisons, armed service branches, and even at school. Teachers and school staff would like to think that they completely control the actions and behaviors of the children. However, the truth is that we do not. There are many ways that others can inflict punishment for those who do not carry out a desired behavior. However, for those few who can tolerate pain, punishment, and humiliation, there is really little that can be done. One is only in control over him or herself. … Continue reading →

Where On Earth Did You Get An Idea Like That?

It comes as a bit of a shock when we parents realize that we are not the only influence on our child or children. I remember being so involved and careful–setting out with the best of intentions to impart all my wisdom and direction onto the tender young minds for who’s care I had been granted responsibility. Gradually, outside influences started to infiltrate. My best-laid plans and efforts began to be assaulted and peppered with holes and attacks, I found myself shocked and horrified and saying, “Where on earth did you get an idea like that?!” There were words I’d … Continue reading →

Acknowledge Small Steps Your Kids Make

“We must realize that children don’t jump from misbehaving to behaving properly all in one day. Instead, they do it one step at a time. Remember that change occurs gradually.”– from Try and Make Me , by Ray Levy and Bill O’Hanlon. How many of you have tried to change your child’s behavior and somehow expected overnight miracles? Come on, be honest, I know I’m not the only one. The above statement should be written in large bold letters and placed strategically around every house to remind us that any small change is a change for the better. In Levy … Continue reading →

Four Words I Promised I Would Never Say As A Parent

In my pre-baby days I made a promise to myself that if and when I became a mother I would never, ever utter these four words. Because. I. Said. So. That was then, and this is now. It’s not that I say it a lot but I say it when necessary and I don’t feel guilty about doing so. Not like the first few times I uttered those words. And I know that some would argue that a child has a right to know why we make the decisions that we make and in most cases I offer an explanation. … Continue reading →

Taming Tantrums: Take Your Child on a Dry Run

As parenting experts go, John Redmond in my opinion, is one of the best. I just recently starting reading his columns in my local paper and was so impressed with his down- to- earth advice and his somewhat comedic style of writing that I picked up one of his latest book, The New Six-Point Plan for Raising Happy, Healthy Children, and devoured it in about two days. It’s full of advice for parents on a variety of topics but what I like best is it includes many questions similar to ones you would find in his column. In upcoming blogs … Continue reading →